After much foot-dragging and many late night talks, the decision was made to go for it.But before they actually did anything precipitous, like posting in a Poly forum, they discussed these issues: Some have other specific issues that are important to them, but this list is what I’m going to focus on, and trust me, it is plenty.One of our intrepid Unicorn Hunters ran into the idea of swinging/open relationships/polyamory.Much to their mutual surprise, neither party completely dismissed the idea (maybe someone did the first time, but they came back to it later, and finally the idea stuck).You posted that you and your partner are ready to open up your relationship and find a special person to add to it. One thing that many of them said was that you are a “Unicorn Hunter”.For some reason, a ton of people seemed upset at your post and started replying with a bunch of hostile, snarky comments that didn’t describe you at all. Not knowing what they meant, you asked your good friend Google what a “Unicorn Hunter” was, and you figured that out. Why did all of these people have such a major stick up their butt? The fact that you are here, reading this, implies that you care.
Set expectations early, so that everyone knows what things will look like and can consider the ramifications.
The core of it is, you can be a good person, doing things that seem reasonable from your perspective, and still be part of a problem.
It really does take some education, some communication, and a lot of forethought to get this one right.
However, as you might guess, I’m going to point out that there are some problems.
One of the first problems is when you don’t talk about your preexisting expectations up front.
This is one of the most sought-after arrangements when a couple new to polyamory looks to open their relationship.