Dating and intimacy tips
But here’s some advice for all you new lovebirds out there, courtesy of Kelly Campbell, Ph D, associate professor of psychology and human development at California State University, San Bernardino: Be cool.
"My advice for couples starting a new relationship is to follow the theory of ‘social penetration,’ meaning you discuss superficial topics at first and gradually lead into more intimate topics,” she says.
“People often make the mistake of disclosing too much too soon, and this can be disastrous for new relationships.
At the start of a relationship, you want your exchanges to be reciprocal and gradual, not one-sided and not too fast.” This may seem like a buzzkill when all you want to do is see what your new prospect is up to, and eating, and wearing, and working on, and thinking about.
Avoid pursuing him or trying to convince him to return.
The beginning of a new relationship can be a lot of fun. It all feels like you’re in a montage of bliss, and maybe, just maybe, this feeling will last forever.
But trust Campbell: The mindset of taking it slow is best.
“It is natural at the beginning to feel intense passion and attraction, and this sometimes causes people to ignore important qualities like matching on values.
In turn, most people looking for love are ultimately after an intimate and loving relationship.
One that involves deep and meaningful conversations, followed by a night of cuddling one another.
In a world increasingly full of one-night-stands and mobile dating apps that make such nights easier than ever, it is vital that actual relationships are stronger than ever.